Kale Stemmer Phase 3: Overthink

What had started as a simple, straight forward vision quickly snowballed into a Swiss army kitchen tool monstrosity.  What other things do you do to vegetables to prepare them for cooking?  Well, you have to peel several of them, for starters!  How do I incorporate a vegetable peeler into my tool as well?  How do I IMPROVE on the vegetable peeler so that I can create a better tool than what already exists?  Before I knew it, I was trying to solve problems I had never intended to solve in the first place.

Since the kale stemmer had pliable arms, I thought I could apply that notion to the super-veggie sculptor, or whatever I was creating at this point.  I could use tongs, but instead of grippers at the end, that’s where the peelers would go so you could peel TWO sides of the vegetable at once!  Never mind how you would hold whatever root you were mutilating, I just doubled productivity!

I could add the stem slicers to the ends of the peeler arms and viola!  You have a veritable Trogdor of a kitchen contraption.  (Thanks MetaStackExchange for the original graphic, and Strongbad, of course…)

Trogdor the Vegenator
Trogdor the Vegenator

This was clearly getting out of hand.  After turning the whole thing over in my head for another week or so, I had come to the conclusion that I had invented the biggest pile of crap ever.  Maybe I was right the first time around, and have it only do one thing, and one thing well.  I went back to the hard plastic model I liked best and thought about how to add working blades to it so I could test how it worked in the real world.

I got as far as hot glueing razor blades to the model when my roomie Brandon asked if I knew about the finger method of stemming kale.  I suppressed a juvenile giggle and professed I did not.  He grabbed a piece of kale, made a little noose around the bottom of the stem with his index finger and thumb and pulled the leaf with the other hand through the noose.  In an instant, curly leaves were all over the counter and he held a bare stem.  I stared at it, heartbroken.

How did I miss this?  I would later try this technique with different types of greens and–with the exception of collard greens–it worked for the most part.  It wasn’t perfect, but about 80% of the time it got the job done.

Had my whole idea of the kale stemmer been a product of overthink?  Do I really need to invent a tool that my hands are able to carry out somewhat sufficiently on their own?  This new revelation had really impacted me.  I had started preparing my greens using this technique each morning.  Maybe I didn’t have anything worth making in the first place.

Then again, we do live in a consumerist society!  I decided that maybe my idea was not good enough to waste anymore of my own time or energy on, but maybe it’s worth wasting other people’s!  Besides, my tool would be 100% effective for ALL leafy greens!

That’s why I’ve launched a Quirky campaign!  In the off-chance they do not approve my campaign, maybe I’ll tinker around with it some more and put it up on Shapeways and see how well it does there.  I’ve even got a great name: the Stem-sational!

Vote for the Stem-sational on Quirky here!

With your help, I can make this idea a reality with minimal effort!  You are required to sign up for Quirky because social media, but it is free.  Now go get voting!  I’ll let you know where we land next week!

[Author’s note:  since the voting period is only open for about two weeks, it’s safe to say that the above link is now completely useless. I debated edited the post to be in past tense, but ultimately decided to leave in it’s original form with this addendum.]

Kale Stemmer Phase 2: Successive Iterating

We left off last week at my first hurdle I needed to overcome, which left me dead in the water.  It wasn’t until I spoke with a friend who suggested 3D printing, which would fling the door open on the iteration process.  I knew about 3D printing but had written it off because I didn’t want a plastic tool.  But that was the problem.  I was getting stumped on the material!  My friend told me it doesn’t matter what the material is when iterating, especially since it’ll save me money to print several versions in plastic.

The next task was to figure out a 3D program I could use to mock the tool up.  I first looked to Autodesk because it’s the most well known.  They had two free options, TinkerCad and 123D.  I started with TinkerCad, which is probably the most approachable of the two.  After a few hours piddling around, I was satisfied with my first mock up.  I uploaded it to Shapeways and a couple weeks later, like magic, I get a physical thing in the mail!

Kale Stemmer Version 2
Kale Stemmer Version 2

The first lesson I learned was about size.  I knew when I saved it, I didn’t really have a good feel for how big it was going to be; and sure enough when it arrived, it was rather small.  Manipulating three dimensional objects has always come second nature to me.  I’m a kinesthetic learner, and can master quickly anything I need to use my hands to learn.  So I was surprised when it took me a while to really get my bearings with 3D software.  I think the difference is: even though the object I’m creating will ultimately be 3D, I’m working and perceiving it in a two dimensional way.  But I guess calculating in the learning curve is all part of the iterating process.

The second lesson I learned right away was about material.  I decided to print it in stainless steel because that was one of the materials Shapeways had available, and I figured, why not?  Since it was ultimately what I wanted the tool to be made in, and I just wasted a month banging my head against a wall about it.  I’m glad I did, because I learned that it wasn’t a good option to print in stainless steel as it’s 1) expensive and 2) has major printing constraints: I was not able to make the arms thin enough to really be pliable.

Lastly, the shape did not allow enough room for the arms to be manipulated around a stem.  Back to the drawing board I went.

I decided to mock up the next version using 123D, just to try out that software.  It took me even longer to figure out how to use that, and I did not do as good a job as with the TinkerCad.  It’s also pretty powerful software, probably too much for my poor, first generation 11” Macbook Air to handle.  However, I did have an idea for how big the tool was going to be this time.  The shape changed in order to make the tool work the way I had envisioned.

Kale Stemmer Version 3
Kale Stemmer Version 3

I made the arms on this model as thin as Shapeways would allow me to print.  This time I printed it in a few different materials, just to see what the difference would be.  I tried stainless steel once more because I like wasting money.  As it turns out, it was still too stiff to really be pliable.  I also printed it in a soft plastic, which was far too soft; and a hard plastic, which was juuust right.

Kale Stemmer Version 4
Kale Stemmer Version 4

I was pretty happy with the shape and size of the hard plastic version and having a hard time thinking how to make it better.  It was a simple design, it worked the way I wanted it to.  I showed it to friends and no one had any real feedback except, what else does it do?

Which made me think, what else should it do?  What if it could do more?  I know the whole point of the tool was to be a simple one-function kitchen tool, but if it had more than one function, wouldn’t it then be more valuable?

Maybe it was because I was reading 1984 at the time, but I like to call this next phase “overthink”.

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My First Stab at the Kale Stemmer

Last year I decided to put what little money I had where my mouth is and try to actually make one of my crazy ideas a reality.  In the next three posts I describe the trials and tribulations of my first product creation attempt, and how the Kale Stemmer never came to be.  Or at least, not yet.

My favorite breakfast–and by favorite I mean I’ve cooked this for myself five days out of the week for the last year–is eggs and greens.  I sauté some onions and peppers, fry an egg on top, and then steam kale/chard/collards/spinach on top of that.  It’s delicious and nutritious, so when I’m a fatty the rest of the day, I can trick myself into feeling good about my eating habits.  The point of all of this is, I eat a lot of kale.

Kale, for those of you familiar with the leafy vegetable, has an almost inedible woody stem growing right up the middle.  It doesn’t taste very good and makes you fart all day if you eat it.  Most people get around this by using chopped up Tuscan or Dino kale, which has the most digestibly negotiable stem.  I’m OCD about it, so I end up spending a half hour slicing the stem out of every single leaf of kale before I chop it up.

My desire to make this process less of a time suck is how I decided to invent the kale stemmer!  Supporting arguments being: it was the most approachable idea to create, i.e. it didn’t require crazy engineering skills I couldn’t wrap my brain around; and more importantly, it’s a silly kitchen tool that only does one thing.  What do American’s like buying more than silly kitchen tools that only do one thing?  How many stores devote entire sections to silly, one-function tools?  And with kale’s popularity on the rise, I was potentially sitting on a goldmine.

Having finally decided on what I wanted to create, now I had to go about actually doing it.  Which proved a little daunting only because I had no idea what I was doing.  I started with what I knew how to do, which was to physically mock something up with similar materials available to me.  I headed over to SCRAP (Scrounger’s Center for Reusable Art Parts), one of my favorite resources in all of SF.  If you do not know of this place, you need to check it out!  It’s hidden away in the industrial triangle part of the Bayview, but you will not be sorry when you finally find it.  After digging around for an hour I found what I figured would do the trick.  By the end of the day, I came up with this:

Kale Stemmer version 1
Kale Stemmer, version 1

You can see from my very first mock up, that I possess the crafting skills of a second grader.  You can also get an idea for the form I was going for.  Two knife blades that can be manipulated like tweezers to adjust to the width of the stem.  In this case I glued two razor blades onto a metal frame and covered it with leather to make it look “nice”.  The problem with this model is I was looking for a metal that would be pliable in order to manipulate it to the shape I desired.  However, what I should have looked for is a firmer material with more shape memory, since this one does not spring back to it’s original shape.  The goal was for the tool to work like tweezers, where you squeeze the blades together and follow the shape of the stem.  That way you can cut out all types of stem shapes and sizes.

After completing my first mock up, I stared at it for about a week.  Now I had a visual for when I explained what my idea was to people, but it wasn’t exactly something I was proud of.  I knew I had to make it more professional looking.  My problem was I kept thinking that it had to be stainless steel, since that was the material I ultimately wanted it to be made out of.  I sunk hours of research into the properties of the material, how I could get my hands on it, how to work with it.  I made a trip to the Crucible to speak with a craftsman there about how to mock up my tool, which ended up being even more daunting since he went on and on about crafting a fine, chef’s quality knife–which was not what I was looking for at all.  I needed it to be simple and cheap, something that could be machine made.

Progress sputtered to a standstill: I had come to my first road block.  I couldn’t get past this barrier because I didn’t know how to manipulate stainless steel and I didn’t have the money to pay somebody who could.  Luckily I have a friend who is going through the same process with his own inventions, so I set up a meeting and picked his brain.  He told me not to get hung up on the manufacturing process before I even have a tool to create.

How could I have been so dense?  How many countless articles had I read about “attacking a problem from all angles” and “pivoting” and all of those other Google keyword catch phrases entrepreneurs love to throw around.  And yet here I was, stuck on my first problem, and my solution was to continue to bang my head on the wall when really, I only had to walk around to the other side and open the door.

Thankfully I did one thing right in talking with my friend.  He was able to turn my problem around for me.  Now that I had found the door, I could walk through and start the next phase: successive iterating.

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The Year to Come

I couldn’t help but feel a little depressed all of December.  The end of the year was upon me and I felt I had nothing to show for it.  I have a blog I barely wrote for, which nobody reads any way.  I had spent all of November and December trying to get a “real job” and failing miserably.  I had to ask my parents for a loan–again.  And it wasn’t helping that someone at Facebook decided to make a stupid, gimmicky, 2014 “Look how much cooler my year was than yours” slideshow nonsense that we could show off to all of our friends.

I’m looking down the barrel to another year working as a glorified cabby, and continually making less and less for it.  I’m 32, living with roommates, no tangible life accomplishments and no job prospectus whatsoever.  While 2014 was still better than 2013, there’s still A LOT of room for improvement.  So instead of looking back at the year that was, I choose to look ahead and–to borrow a phrase from my roommate, friend and EVR1 Institute founder Brandon uses all the time–set my intentions.

Last year I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do and where I was headed.  That has since solidified… some.  My constant problem is that I’m always pulled in five directions at once.  I want to invent something, I want to write, I want to sing, I want to dance, I want a real job.  When I try to divide my attention equally across all of those things, nothing happens.  I either have to give up on some of those things, or get some discipline.  And since I’m no quitter, 2015 will be the year of discipline.

At first I thought I would suck it up stick with Uber, but driving for New Year’s Eve last night was abysmal.  I can take the stress of driving for Uber if I know I’ll be earning a good wage.  But my take-home keeps shrinking the longer I work for them, and it’s becoming harder to justify keeping it up.

It was also a huge bummer to sink the better part of of two months writing cover letters and refiguring resumes; applying to countless jobs and coming up with nothing.  While I will continue the job search, there will be some clear boundaries set so I don’t get my hopes too high.  And this way I’ll still have time left over to work on the writing I want to do.

I was most surprised by how upset I was that my blog was not more developed.  I was proud of myself for actually building it last year, but then I never really committed to making it fly.  I thought of it more as the “hobby” that I would do in the meantime while I worked on figuring out whatever it was I was working towards.  That hobby has become this year’s goal.  By the end of the year, this blog is going to fly.

One of the ways this will happen is with your help–if you feel so inclined that is.  I’ve signed up for an account with Patreon and I’m asking for one dollar per blog post.  You’ll see the link to my Patreon account beneath each post going forth.  This will also help encourage me to commit to posting one article each week.

I’ve set a goal of $1000 dollars per blog post before I take ads down.  I realize that’s A LOT of money.  Patreon wanted a number when I signed up, so I gave them a number.  Shoot for the moon, right?  If your New Year’s resolution was to support the arts, consider starting with me!  I can assure you, 100% of the proceeds will go towards a starving artist…

Time and money permitting, I have a new invention I will be working on developing this year. The goal is to make that be a real thing people can purchase by Thanksgiving–just in time for the holiday rush.  (Of course, my subscribers will get one for free!  If you want one, that is.  You might think it’s a stupid idea.  Or worse yet… don’t drink coffee!  Seriously, how do you people operate?!)  More on what my crazy new idea is in the coming weeks.  I’ll kick this year off with a recap of last year’s invention and what happened… and didn’t happen.  Which will require your participation as well!

I sincerely wish all the best to everyone in 2015.  I’m looking forward to a new year and making this one better than last.  It’s both exciting and daunting to have so much control over my life.  But then again, that’s why I chose this path in the first place.

Happy New Year!


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